Misadventures in Middle Earth
by KaratePunk
Summary: i'm done! thats it! there's no more! the last chapter has been posted!
1. Sauron's dilemna

Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, don't own any of the Lord of the Rings characters, but the original ones are mine. And this disclaimer applies to the entire story because I'm too lazy to type it a million times (no there aren't going to be a million chapters).  
  
Author's note: this story is full of inconsistencies, so leave me alone!  
  
  
  
  
  
Sauron sat (yes sat) in front of his large flat screen TV and watched the replay of the battle at Amon Hen. It appeared to him that Saruman was a complete and utter failure, seeing as the Uruks couldn't get the Ringbearer, and was now useless.  
  
"Damn Uruk-Hai," he grumbled as he stood up and went to the kitchen for a Coke. "The whole goblin/orc thing was a good idea, but I had a feeling intelligence was not going to be a feature in them."  
  
The door to his private study room opened. In reality, it wasn't a study- it was Sauron's private place for kicking back. But that's a different story.  
  
The Nazgul entered. They took off their big scary cloaks and hung them on a coat rack next to the door. The Witch King of Angmar approached Sauron.  
  
Sauron patiently waited for his right hand man to explain the situation with his Ring.  
  
The Witch King, however, didn't seem too eager to tell the tale. He scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat. "We, um," he started, looking a bit sheepish. "We didn't get it back."  
  
He flinched, as if waiting for the explosion that was bound to come, but looked up when it didn't.  
  
Sauron was just standing there looking thoughtful. The Witch King looked at him, waved his hand in front of his commander's eyes, even poked him before Sauron finally focused back on the Ringwraith.  
  
"There has to be some way to get it back from those short men. What's their weakness? They have to have a weakness." Sauron began pacing.  
  
The Witch King sighed. "I wish I knew. It's really bad for our image to be losing to three-foot tall.things. And it's starting to look bad to the girls," he added under his breath.  
  
Little did they know, an answer was about to present itself.  
  
  
  
Sauron got up the next morning, put in his Tae Bo tape, and was happily sweating when he got a call on the palantir. He grumbled something about it being a bad idea to give a seeing stone to Saruman, then went to answer it. Yep, it was Saruman.  
  
"My Lord, my orc patrollers found something wandering near the outskirts of Fangorn this morning." Saruman seemed flustered and really riled up. His long hair was tangled and he was sweating and panting.  
  
Sauron narrowed his eyes. "What did they find?" 


	2. Sauron's surprise

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings!  
  
  
  
  
  
Sauron heard the kicking and shouting all the way up the stairs. He wondered what kind of human actually made all that racket, and wasn't sure he wanted to meet her. After all, she had put Saruman through his paces.  
  
"Get your hands off me, you slimy, disgusting things! Ew! Your slime is getting all over me! Gross!"  
  
The orc guards reached the door and threw the struggling human to the floor. She executed a perfect dive fall and came up in a fighting stance, looking fiercer than anything Sauron had seen in a long time.  
  
Sauron motioned for the guards to leave, then turned to the teenage girl. She brushed her hair out of her face and snarled at him.  
  
"Hello," he said cautiously.  
  
She glared at him, but dropped out of her fighting stance.  
  
"Do you know where you are?" Sauron asked. It was normally a silly question, but this girl obviously wasn't from around here. She certainly wouldn't be treating Sauron like this.  
  
"Judging by the orcs, the fortress of Barad-dur, and the scary guy with long white hair who could only be Saruman, I'd say I was in Middle Earth," the girl said sharply.  
  
Sauron raised an eyebrow. "How did you know all that? I mean, you don't seem to be.a human from this world," he said with surprise.  
  
The girl waved a hand dismissively. "I've seen the movies. It wasn't hard to make the connection."  
  
Sauron was confused. "There are movies?"  
  
She peered at him. "Yeah," she said matter-of-factly.  
  
He looked at her a little closer, then noticed what she was wearing. Her clothes looked like pajamas, but weird ones held together with a black belt. The belt had some sort of gold lettering on it. He pointed at her and asked, "What is that?"  
  
She looked at herself and replied, "What is what?"  
  
"What you're wearing. What is it?"  
  
"Oh. This is my karate uniform."  
  
"What's karate?"  
  
"Self-defense, martial arts. That sort of thing. This is what I wear. My top, my pants, and of course my belt." She paused for a minute and said. "So.if this is Middle Earth, and I'm at Barad-dur, then who are you?"  
  
"I thought you would have known. You've seen the.movies, or whatever they're called."  
  
"Well, one would conclude that you're Sauron-"  
  
"That's right."  
  
She stopped dead. "But.but you can't be! After Isildur cut off your fingers and took your Ring back in the Second Age, you were reduced to a single flaming eyeball with no eyelashes!" she said vehemently.  
  
Sauron stared at her for a moment or two, then burst out laughing. He laughed himself to tears before he realized that the girl was glaring daggers at him. "How old are you?" he choked out.  
  
"Sixteen," she replied icily.  
  
"Well even for a sixteen year old, you have a really good imagination," he said, trying to stop laughing.  
  
"Well if that's not what happened, then how did you lose the Ring?" she asked.  
  
Sauron put on a straight face (even though he was still thoroughly amused), and replied, "Isildur and I got into a fist fight back in high school, and we'd bet that whoever lost would get to keep the Ring. I've been trying to get it back since."  
  
The girl stared at him for a moment, then let out a really loud wail and began banging her head against the nearest wall.  
  
Sauron jumped out of the chair he'd been sitting in and ran over to her. "No no no! Don't do that! What's the matter with you?" he cried as he pulled her away from the wall.  
  
She went completely limp in his arms as he dragged her over to his armchair. He put her down and backed away warily, not sure what to do next.  
  
She sat up in the chair and closed her eyes. "When I count to three, I'm gonna open my eyes and I'll be back at the karate school, and I'm going to laugh at myself for thinking that I actually went to Middle Earth." She opened her eyes, looked around, and wailed again.  
  
"This is not supposed to be happening! I'm sixteen! I'm supposed to be driving around and going to school and dating, not disappearing from the karate school and being transported to a made up world written by an old dead guy!" She huffed (and puffed) for a minute, then looked plaintively at Sauron and asked, "Can I go home?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Okay.good? Yes? No? Review please! 


	3. Wimpy Men

Meanwhile, one of our main character's best friends was also finding herself in Middle Earth. She was a bit more excited than her friend, however. She was in Edoras, capital of Rohan. She wandered around in amazement for a good hour or two before anyone realized that she didn't belong. (A/N: despite common belief, the people of Rohan are not the most intelligent).  
  
A few of Theoden's most trusted guards found her and brought her before the King. What she didn't know was that Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and Gandalf had arrived the day before. This was smack dab in the middle of The Two Towers!  
  
Theoden sat in his throne, waiting for his guards to return with the strange girl. Aragorn and Gimli were lounging, smoking their pipes. Legolas was busy rebraiding his hair, and Gandalf was sitting next to the King, pretending to be Theoden's advisor but really napping.  
  
The doors flew open and in came Theoden's guards surrounding a teenage girl. She had long brown hair, glasses, and was wearing some very strange clothing.  
  
The group stopped in front of Theoden. The guards dispersed, going off to drink or whatever guards do when their shifts have ended. After they left, the hall was silent. Everyone waited for Theoden to speak.  
  
The girl looked around when no one said anything. "Hi," she said guardedly.  
  
Theoden raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Um, you're Theoden, right?" the girl continued hesitantly.  
  
Theoden continued to stare at her (A/N: Have I proven my point?).  
  
"Well, then that means this is Edoras." What is with this guy? She thought to herself. "Well since you don't seem to be functioning at the moment, I'll go talk to someone else."  
  
Gandalf gave a loud snore, then snorted and woke up. "What, what's going on? What did I miss?" He saw the girl standing in front of him. He started freaking out and pointed his staff at her, the whole time shouting, "A servant of Saruman! Get her!"  
  
Aragorn jumped up from where he sat and ran in front of the girl, protecting her. Legolas went to Gandalf and tried to calm him down, but when he tried to take Gandalf's staff, the wizard exploded. Once the smoke cleared and Legolas shook himself out of a daze, he realized what happened: Gandalf had turned his sleek blond hair into a huge afro. He shrieked and ran out of the room.  
  
Gandalf turned back to the girl, who was cowering behind Aragorn. "You!" he hissed, sounding more like a dying cat than threatening. "Are you a servant of Saruman?"  
  
"N-no!" the girl stammered. "I'm just a girl from.a different world!"  
  
"I don't believe you!"  
  
"Gandalf!" Aragorn cut in. "Look at her! Does she look like one of Saruman's spies?"  
  
Gandalf calmed down for a moment and studied her. He started to look very tired and said, "I think I'll go to bed now. Yes, that's what I'll do. Bed." He sounded senile, and walked away, still talking to himself.  
  
The girl let out a big sigh, and Aragorn turned around to look at her. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly.  
  
She nodded and replied, "Yeah, I think so."  
  
Aragorn led her over to a bench and sat her down. He crouched in front of her and asked, "So who are you really?"  
  
The girl just looked at him. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." She paused, then said, "But I know who you are."  
  
Aragorn was shocked. How could she know? She definitely wasn't from Rohan, and wasn't from Gondor either. So that meant she wasn't from Middle Earth. But.  
  
"My name is Allyn. I have no idea how I got here, but I know where I am and who you are, along with the rest of the people I just met. I've read the books, seen the movies, and all I want to know is how to get home."  
  
Aragorn was speechless. "Wh-what do you mean, you have no idea how you got here? And how can you possibly know who everyone is?"  
  
Allyn replied, "Like I said, I've read the books and seen the movies. Obviously you don't know what a movie is, but surely you've read books at some point in time?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well there are books about this place, this world, even you. And no, I have no idea how I got here," she said, a little annoyed. "I was just sitting in my room, reading a book, when the room started spinning and everything went black. When it finally stopped spinning, I was standing in Edoras." She muttered under her breath, "Blaire will be so jealous. If I ever get home to tell her."  
  
"Blaire.that's an odd name."  
  
Allyn peered at Aragorn. "And Aragorn isn't?"  
  
Aragorn passed out.  
  
Allyn shook her head. "Men are such wimps." She turned around as a door opened. Boromir walked in, then stopped short when he saw Allyn. He looked a little closer and saw Aragorn passed out on the floor. "What'd you do to him?"  
  
"Funny you should ask that first."  
  
"Well what am I supposed to ask? Who you are?"  
  
Allyn raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Okay that was pretty dumb. But it takes a lot to get Aragorn to pass out. Who are you anyways? I must learn how to do that. Aragorn can get pretty annoying sometimes," Boromir said.  
  
Allyn snorted. "My name is Allyn, I'm not from Middle Earth, and what I really want to know is what the heck you're doing here."  
  
Boromir looked shocked. "What do you mean, what am I doing here?"  
  
"You're supposed to be dead!"  
  
"Oh, that's nice."  
  
"Well that's what happened in the books."  
  
"There are books?"  
  
Allyn sighed. "Don't ask."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Eowyn walked into the room. "Um, I'm supposed to give you a room and everything, since it appears as though you're staying with-" She stopped when she saw Aragorn. "Men are such wimps."  
  
"I'd have to agree."  
  
"Hey!" Boromir said, offended.  
  
Allyn waved a hand to shut him up. "You're not even supposed to be alive."  
  
"Ugh, I hate women."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Allyn and Eowyn linked arms and walked out of the room, leaving Boromir with the passed out Aragorn. "That's great, leave me with him." He looked around for some support, but no one was there. "Doesn't anyone love me?" 


	4. Arrival in Edoras

At the same time, Sauron and Blaire, who had introduced themselves to each other, were getting very buddy-buddy. Sauron was telling her all about his troubles with the Ring, and Blaire was telling him about her friends and how much she missed them already.  
  
Trouble was, Sauron was beginning to find her very attractive, with her golden hair and evergreen eyes. She, of course, didn't have any idea, and he decided that the best way to get over his lust was to send her away.  
  
But he needed to have a reason to do that. What was he going to tell her? Oh.he knew. He smiled mischievously  
  
"Are you listening?" Blaire asked, bringing him back to the present.  
  
  
  
"What?"  
  
Blaire glared at him, but smiled anyway. She was enjoying teasing the most powerful being in Middle Earth.  
  
Sauron gave her a pouty look, and they both burst out laughing. Once they calmed down, Sauron resolved to tell her that he was sending her away.  
  
  
  
  
  
"How can he do this to me?" Blaire muttered to herself and she rode west towards Rohan. She was riding one of the Ringwraiths' horses. Sauron wanted her to get his Ring back. Well, she had news for him. She was going to get his Ring- and then throw it into the Cracks of Doom!  
  
"I thought that men would be different in Middle Earth, but he proved me wrong! Does he think he's so special that everyone will bow to his will? In his dreams!"  
  
  
  
Blaire had left Barad-dur the week before, and was now closing in on Edoras. Hopefully the city hadn't been emptied yet. She knew they would end up fleeing to Helm's Deep, she just didn't know when.  
  
She rode up the main road of Edoras, relieved to see people still going about their business. She dismounted her horse in front of Theoden's place and ran up the stairs and into the main hall. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at her. Suddenly someone shouted her name, and Blaire turned to her left.  
  
"Allyn?!" Blaire shouted back, and the two friends embraced. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I could ask the same about you!" Allyn replied, and they both started laughing. Everyone in the hall was still staring at them, and when they broke their hug, they turned and said loudly, "It's rude to stare!"  
  
Everyone returned to his or her business. Everyone except Aragorn, Legolas, and Boromir. The three approached Blaire and Allyn in amazement.  
  
"What?" Allyn asked.  
  
"Now there are two of them!" Legolas wailed.  
  
Blaire turned to Allyn and asked with a smile, "Have you been giving the elf a hard time?"  
  
"Oh great, she knows everything too," Boromir said grouchily.  
  
"Not quite, but enough to know where I am, and who you three- you're supposed to be dead!"  
  
"So I've heard," Boromir muttered.  
  
Allyn laughed and dragged Blaire out of the room. "Come on. You need a bath and a change of clothes. Then we'll talk."  
  
  
  
  
  
Blaire sat on Allyn's bed and braided her hair. Allyn was telling her about how she'd gotten to Middle Earth and eating dinner. The two acted like everything was normal, except for the fact that they were in Middle Earth.  
  
"So has Theoden decided to leave Edoras yet?" Blaire asked when Allyn had finished her story.  
  
Allyn shook her head. 'Nope. It'll be soon though. Legolas, Boromir, Aragorn, Gimli, and Gandalf had been here a few days already before I got here."  
  
"I wonder what they're going to do with us," Blaire said thoughtfully. "I mean, they can't just leave us here to die, and I've got a horse anyways."  
  
"You've got a horse?" Allyn asked.  
  
Blaire nodded. "Sauron gave it to me when I left. It's one of the Nazgul's. It's actually a really good horse, surprisingly."  
  
"Yeah, you'd expect it to be really evil. I guess it depends on the rider."  
  
"I think the horse is more intelligent than it's previous owner," Blaire muttered.  
  
The door opened and Eowyn came in. "Theoden just made an announcement. We're leaving Edoras tomorrow. I'll give you some bags, so you can pack some clothes."  
  
"Are we going to Helm's Deep?"  
  
Eowyn nodded and left.  
  
"Well she wasn't surprised at the knowledge we have."  
  
Allyn shook her head. "She's known since I got here."  
  
Blaire sighed. "I bet they won't let me fight. I've got my kamas and my bo staff, but they probably won't do me much good against Uruk-Hai."  
  
"Probably not. But who knows, maybe Aragorn and Boromir will teach us how to use a sword."  
  
"They'll need us anyways."  
  
"Yeah they will." 


	5. Chapter Five for lack of knowing what ex...

Disclaimer: Haven't put this on for the last few chapters.hope that doesn't come back to haunt me. But I still don't own any of the Lord of the Rings characters!  
  
A/N: thank your for reviewing all those who did (only two.I want to cry, I feel like a bad author now).  
  
  
  
  
  
After a long night of packing, Allyn and Blaire fell into bed for a few hours of sleep. They woke at dawn, and went into the main hall with their bags.  
  
Aragorn and Boromir were in a mock swordfight, and Legolas was cleaning off his knives. Gimli was nowhere to be found, and Gandalf was once again napping.  
  
Blaire and Allyn looked at each other, then went to a table and sat down. Aragorn and Boromir broke off the fight once they noticed the two teenagers sitting at the table.  
  
"Good morning," Blaire said cheerfully.  
  
"I suppose. I don't like the fact that we're leaving though," Boromir muttered.  
  
'Why?" Allyn asked.  
  
"He doesn't think Helm's Deep is strong enough," Aragorn replied.  
  
"Well-" Blaire started, but was interrupted by Allyn's elbow jabbing into her side. "Never mind," she said.  
  
Aragorn and Boromir exchanged suspicious looks, but didn't say anything.  
  
"When do we leave?" Allyn asked, changing the subject.  
  
"Pretty soon. I suggest you go find someone safe to store your things with."  
  
"Oh that's taken care of. We're taking Blaire's horse."  
  
"Your horse?" Aragorn asked Blaire.  
  
"Yeah, the one I rode in on. I put him in the stable last night with Shadowfax, because I knew no one else was going to take care of him," she replied.  
  
"Oh right," he said. "Well, I better go pack up my things as well, " Aragorn said, and walked away.  
  
"Did you ride where you came from?" Boromir asked.  
  
Blaire shook her head. "No, I'd never really ridden before, but it wasn't hard to learn. Besides, it came easy after all the karate."  
  
Allyn nodded. "So watch it. She can kick your butt."  
  
Boromir raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Let's see it then." He stood up, and Blaire followed him. They went to the middle of the room, and Blaire dropped into a fighting stance. Boromir smiled a really cocky smile, and threw a punch at her. She blocked it and threw him to the ground. He landed on his back, and slowly stood back up. He continued to throw punches at her until he couldn't get up again. By this time, the two had a crowd watching them, and as Blaire helped Boromir to his feet, they cheered.  
  
Blaire smiled and backed away from Boromir. "You put up a good fight there, my friend!"  
  
He smiled at her and turned away, then winced. I didn't know women could do that, he thought, and went away to repair his ego.  
  
  
  
  
  
Allyn walked next to Aragorn's horse and chatted with him. The city of Edoras had been emptied and they were headed to Helm's Deep. Blaire had gotten into a heated discussion with Legolas a long time ago about whether or not his hair color was real, and Boromir and Gimli were arguing over who was hotter: Galadriel or Eowyn.  
  
"So you've only had one boyfriend?" Aragorn asked in surprise.  
  
"Yep. I don't think the males at my school are very intelligent, so I've pretty much given up on them completely," Allyn replied.  
  
"That's a shame," Aragorn said.  
  
"Why, were you planning on making any moves?" Allyn asked wickedly.  
  
Aragorn blushed and turned away. Actually, I'm finding it hard not to, especially because I'm really debating on whether or not it would be proper to pour a canteen of cold water down my pants, he thought to himself.  
  
Allyn smiled to herself and caught up with Blaire, who was riding Nightshade, her horse, and Legolas. They were now talking about swordsmanship and the difference between that and hand to hand combat. Allyn shook her head, then tapped Blaire's leg. Blaire looked down, then stopped Nightshade and hopped off. "What?"  
  
"I just had a most interesting conversation with Aragorn," Allyn said.  
  
"Oh really. What was it about?" There was nothing innocent about Blaire's grin.  
  
Allyn returned the grin with a smirk of her own and told Blaire the story. When she had finished the story, Blaire's grin was bigger than ever, and she whispered, "Well, it appears as though you're going to get your man after all."  
  
Allyn pretended to look shocked, but grinned. "I don't know. I mean, if the rumors are true, he's still fiercely loyal to Arwen-" "I can take care of that."  
  
"Thanks for the offer, dear, but I think I can take her myself. Anyways, she's supposedly leaving soon, so maybe once she's gone I can find some way to get Aragorn's attention."  
  
"Doesn't sound to me like it'll be that hard. It's not like he's trippin' over her or anything."  
  
Allyn was about to reply when Aragorn and Boromir flew past on horses, and Eowyn approached them. "We have to lead the way to Helm's Deep. There are scouts all over the place, and that means there's someone out there waiting for us. Hurry!"  
  
Blaire turned around to find Nightshade, but she found a soldier on him. "Take him," Blaire said. "Just bring him back to me."  
  
The soldier flew off, and Blaire and Allyn ran to catch up to Eowyn.  
  
  
  
  
  
Once the crowd from Edoras reached Helm's Deep, Eowyn, Blaire, and Allyn waited for the warriors to return. Blaire was mostly waiting to see that the soldier who took Nightshade returned, but she was a little worried about the group from the broken Fellowship.  
  
"I should have fought," Eowyn said quietly. "I wanted to fight. But Uncle wouldn't let me, and I listened to him."  
  
"Well, you were the only one who knew how to get here, right? And I feel bad, I could have done something. I'm trained," Blaire replied.  
  
Just then, a small group of riders rode through the gate. Theoden was at the front, and Blaire scanned the group for the four who really mattered to her. She found three.  
  
"So few," Eowyn said to Theoden.  
  
Allyn didn't look too surprised to find so few, and Blaire knew she shouldn't have been too worried either, but she was still wondering if Aragorn wasn't going to come back.  
  
Legolas moved his horse closer to the girls, and dismounted. Blaire realized that his horse was Nightshade. "Where's the soldier who took him?"  
  
Legolas shook his head. "He won't be returning, and.I fear Aragorn may not be returning either."  
  
Eowyn turned away and ran off.  
  
Gimli joined Legolas, and Boromir too. They went with Allyn and Blaire up to find chambers so they could rest. Even having not fought, the girls were exhausted, and fell immediately asleep, Allyn in Legolas' arms and Blaire in Boromir's.  
  
  
  
  
  
The plot thickens. Read and review! 


	6. Bleak forecast

Disclaimer: For clarification: the characters I own are Blaire and Allyn. The rest, obviously, are characters from LotR. So leave me alone!  
  
  
  
  
  
The next day, everyone was lounging about, waiting for some news from Theoden about their status. Aragorn made a fashionably late entrance, and was told off by Legolas for looking so terrible. Boromir rolled his eyes but shook Aragorn's hand anyways, and Gimli flew into Aragorn's arms.but came up a little short. Blaire and Allyn had shyly approached, but both had given him hugs (and Allyn got a little more). He then went off to inform Theoden of the impending doom for the refugees at Helm's Deep.  
  
Meanwhile, Blaire and Allyn were getting sword and archery training from Legolas and Boromir. Blaire was doing exceedingly well with the archery, and Allyn, having taken fencing before, was giving Boromir a good workout. Then Blaire took out her kamas and fought against Legolas, the elf using his knives.  
  
"That's pretty good," Legolas commented as Blaire blocked a jab and returned it with one of her own.  
  
"You think so?" she replied tartly, and attacked with a flurry of strikes before stopping, one blade pointed right at the bridge of the elf's nose. "I was thinking that myself," she said with a laugh, and backed off.  
  
Legolas had a shocked look on his face, and got laughed at by Boromir, who had already experienced the black belt's wrath.  
  
Aragorn returned after his meeting with Theoden, looking a little flustered and worried. "Ten thousand Uruk-Hai, just as strong as the ones we fought back at Rauros. They'll be here by tomorrow night," he told the three warriors.  
  
Allyn and Blaire were feeling a bit left out of the conversation, so they picked up and left. When Aragorn was finally finished talking, they looked around in slight confusion for the girls. "Where did they go?" Boromir asked.  
  
Aragorn shrugged. "They really didn't need to hear that anyways. You know they're not gonna fight."  
  
Boromir gave Aragorn a look that plainly said Aragorn was a complete and utter idiot. "First of all, you moron, they probably already knew about this. They both seem to know everything that goes on around here. Secondly, why won't they be allowed to fight? They both kicked my butt, they're good with weapons, and as far as I'm concerned, we're gonna need all the help we can get."  
  
Legolas was shaking his head. "They may be able to fight, but they are still women. They'd get squeamish at the first sight of blood. And orcs are not the easiest things to fight."  
  
Gimli rolled his eyes. "You obviously don't know much about women then, my Elven friend. Dwarf women can fight just as well as men, and they fight better than most dwarf women I've seen."  
  
Aragorn shrugged. "In any case, it's going to be Theoden's decision, and if he lets those two fight, he'll have to let Eowyn fight. You know he won't do that."  
  
  
  
  
  
The next day was fading into twilight when they next saw Allyn and Blaire. They were dressed and ready for battle, both of them having gotten swords and bows from the Rohirrim. Blaire was sitting on the steps sharpening her kamas, and Allyn was cleaning off her sword when Boromir approached them.  
  
Blaire looked up and smiled at him. "Hey," she said nonchalantly.  
  
"Hello. It appears as though Theoden allowed the women to fight if they chose, huh?"  
  
Allyn shook her head, still concentrating on her sword. "We told him that we know how to fight, and since we're not from around here, he doesn't have anyone to worry about if we die."  
  
'You seem to be ready for battle."  
  
"Sure are. We may not have fought battles back where we come from, but that doesn't mean we don't know how."  
  
"Not scared at all?"  
  
Blaire looked at him, eyebrow raised. "Of course we're scared. I'm scared shitless. But it's no scarier than being in a car accident or even testing for my black belt, so I'll live. Besides," she added with a laugh, "Orcs aren't the most intelligent, are they?"  
  
Boromir shrugged. "Not that I've seen, especially if they couldn't kill me properly, but promise me that you two will get somewhere safe if the wall comes down." He looked both of them in the eye. "Promise me."  
  
Allyn and Blaire looked at each other, then sighed. "Well that takes all the fun out of it, but we'll try our hardest to be safe."  
  
Boromir nodded, then went off to talk to Aragorn about placement and strategy.  
  
Blaire took out her bow and pulled the string as taut as she could. She then made sure all her arrows were well within reach, and put her bow down. She sighed.  
  
Allyn looked at her. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Well, if it weren't bad enough that ten thousand orcs were headed this way and we're probably not going to make it out of here alive, but now it's that time of the month too." Blaire rolled her eyes. "Perfect timing."  
  
"Don't you know it. But hey, maybe if we both get killed, we'll wake up from this horrendous dream."  
  
"I thought you liked it here. I thought you would have done anything to be here."  
  
"Well here yes, but not here, not now. I don't need to get killed while I'm here."  
  
"Good job contradicting yourself there, Bren."  
  
"I didn't contradict myself. I said that maybe if we get killed, we'd go back. I didn't say I actually wanted to."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Sorry to interrupt your fight there, but it's time to go," a voice said.  
  
Blaire jumped, startled. "Aragorn, I swear, if you ever do that again, I throw you to the ground so fast your head will spin."  
  
Aragorn laughed. "Yeah, whatever," he said with some scorn. "Now let's go. The Uruk-Hai army is almost here."  
  
Aragorn led them to a secluded location safe behind the walls of Helm's Deep. "These are your positions. Stay here," he ordered. When Blaire gave him an exasperated look, he just shrugged and said, "The only way Theoden was going to allow women to fight was all the way back here, so that's where I'm placing you."  
  
And away he went to the front. Blaire silently laughed at his retreating back, because she and Allyn were the only ones to know of Helm's Deep's impending doom: the walls would not hold.  
  
  
  
The impending doom of Helm's Deep.what will they ever do? 


	7. Female warriors! Rock on!

Disclaimer: Don't own Lord of the Rings.  
  
  
  
Five hours later, the battle was well under way, and Blaire was busily fighting off the massive hordes of raving mad Uruk-Hai. She drove her kamas into the chest of the orc standing in front of her, then pivoted off, drew her sword, and slit the throat of the one standing ninety degrees to her left.  
  
She sheathed her sword, wrenched her kamas out of the Uruk-Hai, and turned to look for her friend. As she turned, she found an orc standing right in front of her. She stood frozen.  
  
Suddenly, the orc fell, and she saw Legolas standing at the top of the stairs, pointing the bow in her direction. He winked at her, and went about slaying the orcs around him. (A/N: Yes, this is the part where he pulls the cool ride-the-shield-down-the-stairs-while-firing-off-arrows trick).  
  
The Horn of Gondor sounded, and Blaire turned to see the inside wall of Helm's Deep fall. Aragorn's voice rang out, calling, "Fall back! FALL BACK!"  
  
Blaire turned and ran with Allyn to the gates, pushing through fighting bodies and finally getting safely inside the stronghold.  
  
Aragorn and Boromir quickly followed, and they helped the Rohan soldiers bar the door. There was nowhere left to hide. It seemed that the battle was over, and the people of Rohan were doomed.  
  
Theoden was sulking over his imminent loss when Aragorn came up with the brilliant idea to ride out and meet the orcs. It sounded like a good idea when paired with Gandalf's arrival, but Allyn and Blaire weren't so sure.  
  
Theoden's resolution to that conflict was to send them down to the caverns to tell Eowyn to lead the women and children through the mountains to safety, unless someone called them back.  
  
When Aragorn mounted Nightshade, Blaire made him promise to bring him back. He just winked at her, and the two girls ran down to pass the message on to Eowyn.  
  
  
  
Following the tremendous victory at Helm's Deep, but preceding the journey to Isengard, a celebration was thrown. The people of Rohan rejoiced at their sudden freedom from the presence of Saruman in their beloved country.  
  
The broken-Fellowship members and the girls joined in. Aragorn acted on his not-so-well-hidden lust for Allyn. The two were currently making out in a corner.  
  
Eowyn was glaring at them. She watched for a few minutes, then growled and sat next to Blaire.  
  
Blaire glanced at the love-struck couple, then focused on Eowyn. "Don't even bother with him," she said dismissively. "The son of Arathorn has a bit of a cheating problem. He's got an elf girlfriend back in Rivendell, and she's not the only one he fancies here." She looked meaningfully at Eowyn. "But I, of course, have my own opinions of the future King of Men."  
  
"Oh, do share," Boromir said sarcastically as he and Legolas joined the women.  
  
"Aragorn is a good man," Legolas said.  
  
Eowyn, Boromir, and Blaire snorted.  
  
Legolas rolled his eyes, then looked around for a minute and asked, "Speaking of Aragorn, where is he? And where's Gimli?"  
  
"Aragorn is over there putting the moves on my best friend, and Gimli.good question; where is Gimli?" Blaire replied.  
  
Eowyn and Boromir shrugged.  
  
"Oh well. I'm sure he can handle himself. Seems he beat you in your little contest there, hmm my Elven friend?" Blaire asked, grinning.  
  
Legolas flushed a nice shade of pink, then mumbled something in Elvish.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that, dear."  
  
Legolas glared at her.  
  
The band started to play a new tune, and Boromir glanced at Eowyn. "You look like you need some cheering up. Come on, let's dance."  
  
Eowyn readily agreed (she needed a way to get Aragorn jealous) and off they went to dance, leaving Blaire and Legolas alone together.  
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes, both feeling a little uncomfortable, and Blaire finally said, "You know, I'm not feeling this whole party scene. Let's go for a walk, shall we?"  
  
Nodding his agreement, Legolas stood up and offered Blaire an arm. She linked hers with his, and they went off into the darkness.  
  
"So tell me, elf-prince, what do you do for fun in Mirkwood?" Blaire asked, trying to make conversation.  
  
Legolas frowned. "Fun? Fun.oh yes, fun. That's the thing you don't have when you've been trying to get back on your father's good side after turning down the hand of the elf-maiden Kiani."  
  
Blaire raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "Why did you turn her down?"  
  
"Because she wasn't for me. Most Elves are warriors, but I've found that the elf-women I know.well they aren't the toughest. They actually have probably never touched a weapon in their lives. And that's not what I'm looking for."  
  
"So you're looking for someone tough."  
  
Legolas nodded. "I'm looking for the traditional elf.but apparently they don't exist anymore."  
  
"Well what is the traditional elf? I mean, obviously things are changing; most of your kind is leaving this place and going to the undying lands."  
  
"That's why I've stopped looking."  
  
Blaire stopped dead in her tracks. "You've stopped looking? You've just given up. I'm sure you haven't met all of your possibilities. And I'm sure there's a million of them out there who are dreaming of being with the Prince of Mirkwood."  
  
"That's the point," Legolas said, turning to her. "I don't want her to love me because I'm the Prince. I want her to love me for who I am. I want to have to fight to earn her respect, not fight to be away from her for two minutes." He reached out and put his hands on her waist, drawing her in. "But I've already fought you. The only question is: have I earned your respect?"  
  
He leaned in and kissed her.and that lead to a massive snogging session, which will not be put into words.  
  
  
  
  
  
I swear that that's the only time I'll ever write a serious romantic scene. The rest of the story will be funny.I promise.  
  
P.S. Kamas are a martial arts weapon.but they're hard to explain so if you really feel like it, you can look them up online. If not then.sucks to be you. 


	8. A new Quest And a secret

Disclaimer: Do I still have to say this? I really don't own Lord of the Rings.  
  
  
  
The next morning, Gandalf gathered up the Fellowship members and Allyn and Blaire. They set off to Isengard to fight Saruman, and to rid Rohan of his presence for good.  
  
Allyn had now gotten her own horse. She rode alongside Blaire and Nightshade, and they chatted away, not caring about the battle that was sure to come.  
  
"So?" Blaire asked in a low whisper. "Was he a good kisser?"  
  
Allyn blushed furiously and replied, "That's none of your business." She looked around to see if anyone else was listening. Luckily for her, they were all absorbed in their own thoughts, so she nodded quickly and grinned.  
  
Blaire grinned too. "So was Legolas."  
  
Allyn's jaw dropped. Then they giggled for a minute before stopping, disgusted. "Ew. We're turning into.preps."  
  
Blaire laughed loud enough for a few to turn and look, but she didn't notice. "I'll never be a prep. Christine was so proud when she turned me punk, I don't know what she'd do if I went back."  
  
  
  
That night, camp was made, and a nice warm fire was lit. Allyn was sitting next to Aragorn, of course, but he didn't look too happy. After the meal, they disappeared into the woods.  
  
Blaire rolled her eyes at this. She knew Allyn wouldn't do anything stupid, and if she did.Blaire would probably roll over laughing if her friend got knocked up.  
  
She was a little disturbed however, when Legolas said he had to take care of something and walked into the woods alone.and didn't come back. A little while after he left, Allyn came storming back, grabbed her sleeping bag, and went right to sleep, although her mutters could be heard for a while after.  
  
Intrigued by this chain of events, she moved next to Boromir and Gandalf. "What do you think is going on now?"  
  
Gandalf snorted. "As if last night wasn't interesting enough. I'd say that Aragorn got a little too fresh with your friend, she got mad, and walked away. Legolas.I'm not sure. He seemed happy today," Gandalf paused long enough for Blaire to flush red, then continued, "But I don't know what his story is."  
  
Boromir nodded. "Normally I'd say he was off with Gimli.but it doesn't appear as though that's the case. All I have to say is that if they're together, meaning Aragorn and Legolas, that's incredibly disgusting and I'd vote myself out of the Fellowship."  
  
Gandalf coughed, and Blaire poked Boromir. "Well, you see dear, the Fellowship is already broken and-"  
  
"Oh shut up, you knew what I meant," Boromir replied, and gave her a playful shove. The cat-fight following was beginning to be a lot of fun when Gimli sat up in his sleeping bag and yelled, "SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!"  
  
Blaire and Boromir froze, then laughed. Suddenly the bushes rustled, twigs were heard snapping, and.out came Aragorn, sword drawn. "What? What is it? I heard shouting, where's the danger?"  
  
Blaire, Gandalf, and Boromir cracked up. Aragorn sighed and sheathed his sword, shaking his head, and then out of the bushes came Legolas, bow and arrow ready, and nearly tackling Aragorn. He tripped and managed to recover, but the entire chain reaction was too much for Blaire. She fell back and laughed herself to tears, nearly choking at points.  
  
She stopped immediately when she noticed Legolas and Aragorn glaring at her. She gave them a sweet innocent smile.  
  
Aragorn muttered something to himself, then laid down on the ground and went to sleep. Legolas and Blaire got in a staring contest, which Blaire of course lost. The elf grinned and he too hit the sack.  
  
The staring contest wouldn't have been all that important to Blaire if she hadn't noticed something very interesting about Legolas' attire. She went to bed, still thinking about what exactly that meant, and decided to discuss it with Allyn in the morning.  
  
  
  
Allyn awoke to the smell of something burning. She also thought she smelled coffee, which meant that Aragorn had gotten over his laziness and dug it out of his saddlebags.  
  
She sat up, rubbed her eyes, and looked around. Aragorn said a quiet good morning to her, and she was about to reply when she remembered that she was horribly annoyed with him.  
  
She was only the second one awake, so she decided to go find that creek she'd found last night and quickly wash up. She stood up, grabbed her bag, and walked away.  
  
Through the woods, turning left and right at certain marked trees, and finally making her way to the creek, Allyn found herself even more mad at Aragorn today than she had been last night. The nerve! How dare he ask her that?  
  
She was surprised to find Blaire there, washing out a pair of pants. Blaire looked up when she saw Allyn. "Good morning," she said pleasantly.  
  
Allyn raised an eyebrow and replied, "It might be for you, but certainly not for me."  
  
"I noticed that you were mad when you came back last night, but I figured you didn't want to talk about it right then. What happened?"  
  
"Aragorn told me that he wasn't happy with the parameters of our relationship, and that we should widen them. He said that he wanted to 'prove his love for me.' Now what on earth do you suppose that means?"  
  
"That is a really nice way of saying that he wants in your pants."  
  
"Yeah. So I told him that there was no way and that if he really wanted to 'prove his love for me,' he wouldn't push the issue and I'd forget he said anything. And then I walked away."  
  
Blaire nodded. "I'm glad. That would have totally sucked if you'd gotten knocked up while we were here."  
  
"Blaire!"  
  
"I'm just kidding." They were quiet for a minute, and then Blaire said, "I saw something interesting last night."  
  
"Oh really?"  
  
"When Aragorn came to save the day last night after he heard 'shouting,' I got into a staring contest with Legolas. But I noticed something very odd during this staring contest. And it could mean a lot of different things."  
  
"Well? What was it?"  
  
"Aragorn came back wearing Legolas' pants, and Legolas came back wearing Aragorn's pants. And, Legolas' belt was undone."  
  
Allyn looked at Blaire. She merely nodded. "Oh dear."  
  
"That's what I was thinking. So now the question is, what do we do about it?"  
  
"Well what can we do? I mean, we can't prove anything."  
  
"Well no, but what I saw should be enough. I mean, come on, look at that. That should give a pretty good idea of what went on out there."  
  
Allyn began pounding her fist into her palm threateningly. "I'm gonna kill him! I am gonna go back there and beat his face to a pulp."  
  
"But Bren, castration with a dull spoon is so much more tempting."  
  
Allyn laughed. "Okay, so what are we really gonna do?"  
  
"Confront them?"  
  
"Oh yeah, great idea Sar, just walk up to him and say, you're sleeping with Legolas aren't you? That'll be pleasant."  
  
Blaire looked thoughtful. "We could tell the rest of the group. I'm sure they'd be willing to do something. At least Boromir would. Ooh, you should have heard him last night."  
  
Allyn thought for a minute. It probably would do them some good to tell everyone else.but then it could also create some problems for the broken- Fellowship members. Oh well, it was their fault for screwing each other in the first place! "Okay. We go back and tell the Fellowship."  
  
  
  
Hmmm, what could it be? Keep reading and find out. And thanks for the reviews! 


	9. Off to Gondor

Disclaimer: I don't own- aw forget it. You know by now!  
  
  
  
  
  
"EW! THAT IS SO DISGUSTING! HOW CAN I EVER LOOK AT THEM THE SAME AGAIN? THAT IS SO GROSS!"  
  
"Boromir!"  
  
Boromir cut off his raving and looked at them. "Sorry," he said, and sat down.  
  
Gandalf looked around. "So what do we do? It's up to everyone else how they want to handle it individually, but as a group we need to decide whether or not they stay."  
  
"They need to stay. Otherwise we have two warriors, a wizard, and two teenage girls. We'd be sitting ducks for anyone who attacked us," Gimli stated.  
  
No one rebutted, so Gandalf nodded. "They stay. Do we approach them about it?"  
  
Everyone was silent. Then Blaire shook her head. "I think it should be left up to the individuals, whether or not they want to talk to them about it. It'll just make things worse if they are forced to say something."  
  
Everyone nodded in agreement. Then Boromir spoke up. "I think I want to turn my journey south, to find my brother. I have no interest in staying with the Fellowship, and it's not like I'm protecting the Ring anymore, so I may as well put myself to use somewhere else."  
  
Gandalf replied gravely, "That may be for the best. You'd probably get annoyed with Aragorn and his gayness pretty quickly, and then you'd kill him, and then he couldn't be King so you would be-"  
  
"Like that would be bad," Boromir said.  
  
"- and then my awesome poem wouldn't be true anymore."  
  
"Which one?" Allyn asked.  
  
"The really pretty one about gold not glittering.and yeah."  
  
"Ah, that one."  
  
"I think I wrote that when I was high on hobbit weed."  
  
"Anyways," Boromir interrupted.  
  
Everyone laughed. "I am going to head off later this afternoon. Will anyone be joining me?" Boromir asked.  
  
Gandalf looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, "I think you ought to take Allyn and Blaire with you. They'll be safer in the wild, instead of with us in Isengard."  
  
Blaire muttered something like, "I'm not complaining," but it appeared as if Allyn was the only one who heard.  
  
  
  
After the second breaking of the Fellowship, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and Gandalf continued on to Isengard. Boromir did what he'd planned to and went south towards Gondor in search of his brother. Blaire and Allyn traveled with him, not wanting to stay and risk slitting the cheating throats of their boy toys. Now they were near Gondor. According to Boromir, Faramir was a Ranger, and not on the best of terms with their father. So he was living in the Wild, along with a bunch of his Ranger friends.  
  
Boromir led the way through the shrubbery, looking for the place he knew his brother would be at. "It's a good place to throw parties," he informed them mischievously.  
  
"Without the parentals knowing, you mean," Allyn replied.  
  
Suddenly, Blaire and Allyn were stopped dead in their tracks. At least a dozen hands were holding bows and arrows straight at their heads. Boromir hadn't noticed, and was still walking and talking to himself when Blaire said, "Uh, Boromir? Little help here?"  
  
Boromir whipped around. He stared at the girls and then the Rangers pointing arrows at their faces, then shook his head and said, "Faramir! How many times do I have to tell you? It's not polite to threaten guests!"  
  
One of the men holding bows lowered it and put the arrow back in its quiver, then threw back his hood. "Boromir! Well met, brother!"  
  
The two men embraced, and Boromir replied, "Well met. But I have to say that it wasn't the best greeting I could have gotten, what with you trying to take my friends hostage."  
  
The Rangers, who were still keeping their aim dead on the girls, looked from each other to their commander. Faramir shrugged but waved them down, then turned back to his brother. "Friends?"  
  
Boromir didn't say anything. Then he burst out laughing, much to the dismay of Allyn and Blaire, and threw an arm around his brother's shoulders, leading them all back to camp.  
  
The Rangers surrounded the girls, treating them as if they were vicious beasts about to attack. Allyn seemed a little on edge, but Blaire rolled her eyes. "Men," she muttered.  
  
  
  
Sorry so short! It was a good place to stop.but I'll get the next chapter posted asap! 


	10. What?

Disclaimer: I should quit bothering to do this.  
  
A/N: I made a huge mistake in Chapter 6! Oh dear! When I originally wrote this story, I had the names of all my friends in, and then when I wanted to post it, I'd just change the names. But I called one of my friends her nickname in chapter 6, so you all were probably wondering who the heck 'Bren" was. Well that should be Allyn so that is my huge mistake. Which when it all comes down to it isn't all that bad. Oh well. On with the story!  
When they arrived back at the Ranger camp, Allyn and Blaire gratefully threw their gear onto the ground and plopped down by the fire.  
  
Boromir and Faramir went off into the cave, Faramir yelling, "Mablung! We've got two more!"  
  
The girls looked at each other. Two more? they mouthed at each other. What was he talking about?  
  
"Faerie-meer!" a voice yelled. And it sounded pretty familiar.  
  
A girl turned the corner and stopped dead at the sight of Allyn and Blaire. It was their friend Rachael! What was going on here?  
  
Apparently she'd been thinking the same thing because all three of them yelled simultaneously, "What are you doing here?"  
  
They all joined in a huge hug and then drew away, laughing.  
  
"This just keeps getting weirder and weirder! First I meet up with Sauron, who has a body, by the way, then I get to Edoras and realize that my best friend is there and Boromir's not dead, and now I find out that you're hanging out with Rangers!" Blaire said in a rush.  
  
"I know!" Rachael replied. "There I am, sitting at home, watching, you guessed it, the Fellowship, and then the room started spinning and I ended up on the ground in Gondor, surrounded by Rangers!"  
  
They continued talking (loudly) and laughing until the brothers returned. Faramir completely dismissed Blaire and Allyn, pouncing on Rachael. "I hate that name."  
  
Rachael grinned. "Why do you hate it, Faerie-meer? What's so wrong with Faerie-meer?" She laughed when he growled.  
  
"Rachael, have you been torturing the Rangers?" Allyn asked in mock disapproval.  
  
"Not all of them. Just the ones that are fun to tease, like Mablung and Damrod, and of course Faerie-meer."  
  
Faramir growled again, then threw up his hands in disgust and said, "I give up. She's been here three weeks and has managed to drive me and my men absolutely insane! And we're Rangers!"  
  
Boromir told his brother to sit down before he hyperventilated, and then grinned behind his back at Rachael.  
  
The girls continued their previous conversation as if they'd never been interrupted.  
  
"Well, I was at karate when I blacked out, and then I woke up in Fangorn surrounded by orcs." Blaire shuddered dramatically. "Then they dragged me to Barad-dur and I met Sauron. Who decided he could take advantage of me and sent me off to find his Ring."  
  
"Well, it's fitting that I was wearing what I was when I disappeared," Rachael said with a self-satisfied smile.  
  
"What were you wearing?" Allyn asked.  
  
Rachael went to her corner of the cave and returned with a very dirty looking shirt. She held it up, and Allyn and Blaire cracked up. " 'Sam will kill you if you try anything'!" Blaire choked out. "I love that shirt!"  
  
"It's too bad I wasn't wearing my Aragorn shirt when I got transported here. That would have been interesting, considering I ended up in Edoras, and he was there at the same time."  
  
"That would have been amusing," Blaire commented.  
  
"I'd have to agree with that."  
  
"I was wearing my tiger shirt, the one that says 'grrr'."  
  
"Your face says grrr."  
  
"Your face's face says grrr."  
  
'Your face's face's face says grrr."  
  
"Your face's face's face's fa- aww fuck it."  
  
The both laughed, at the same time getting odd looks from Boromir and Faramir. "Umm.what's fuck?"  
  
They stopped, and the three of them exchanged looks. "It means screw," Blaire said.  
  
The brothers still had blank looks on their faces.  
  
"It's a way of saying.oh how do I put this?" Rachael said.  
  
No one said anything.  
  
Finally Allyn groaned dramatically and said, "It means to have sex!"  
  
"Ohhhh," Boromir and Faramir said in unison. Then Faramir frowned and said, "But then what you said doesn't make sense."  
  
"It's an expression!" Blaire said, exasperated. When no one said anything, Blaire threw up her hands in disgust and stalked out of the cave. Faramir ran after her saying, "You can't leave! Come back here!"  
  
A few minutes later, Blaire and Faramir returned, Blaire looking extremely grumpy and Faramir a giddy grin on his face. He went over to Rachael and whispered, "I won."  
  
"YOU DID NOT WIN," Blaire said loudly.  
  
"Yes I did."  
  
"No you didn't. I always win."  
  
"I won."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"YES."  
  
"NO."  
  
"YES."  
  
"NO."  
  
"Will you shut up already???"  
  
"NO!" Blaire and Faramir said in unison, and then Blaire said, "I win."  
Yay! This has a lot of inside jokes between me and my friends in it, but they're funny all the same. Right? Right????? *Has a panic attack and hyperventilates* my readers don't love me! 


	11. Of Slang and Nicknames

Disclaimer: hey.guess what? I don't own Lord of the Rings!  
"Faerie-meer!"  
  
Blaire groaned and rolled over. Why the hell was Rachael up this early?  
  
She opened her eyes and realized that it wasn't exactly early. In fact, everyone else was already up and about. She groaned again and got up, planning on going off to yell at someone about letting her sleep so late.  
  
She first found Faramir, and by the look on his face she knew he'd heard Rachael' yell. She grinned at him and said, "Hey, Faerie-meer."  
  
He glared at her. "I hate that name so much. And I'm going to kill her. I'm busy, what could be so important that I have to rush away from my work just to open a water jug for her?"  
  
Blaire shrugged but followed Faramir to where Rachael and Allyn were sitting. She sat down next to Rachael and waited to see the bitch-fight that was sure to follow.  
  
"What do you want?" Faramir growled.  
  
Rachael smiled sweetly at him and said. "Nothing. I just wanted to see your reaction to being called Faerie-meer."  
  
"Rachael, you've been here three weeks, and I'm sure you've called him Faerie-meer plenty of times within that time period. Why can't you just call him by his real name?" Allyn said.  
  
Faramir squealed in joy at someone defending him and picked Allyn up. He spun her around a few times and then kissed her cheek. Then he stopped, seeming to realize what he was doing, and set her down where she'd been. His cheeks were bright red.  
  
Allyn had a weird look on her face that plainly said, "What the hell were you thinking, picking me up and spinning me around and then kissing me you gross disgusting unwashed Ranger?"  
  
Faramir muttered something indistinguishable and walked away, clearly embarrassed. As soon as he was out of hearing range, Rachael said, "Ow- ow!"  
  
Allyn smacked her.  
  
"Definitely not an elf," Blaire said.  
  
"Oh, shove it," Allyn said.  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Bite me, bitch!"  
  
"Where and how hard?"  
  
Allyn started to say something about five times, then muttered, "Forget it," and stalked out of the cave. Rachael and Blaire burst out laughing.  
  
"Bet she enjoyed that!" Blaire said.  
  
"Oh yeah!"  
Allyn walked out of the cave, seething in mock rage and embarrassment. She paced for a few minutes, and then was surprised to notice Faramir watching her in amusement, grinning.  
  
"What are you grinning about?" Allyn snapped.  
  
"Oh nothing."  
  
"You didn't just embarrass me in there, you fool. You embarrassed yourself too."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"This is when you say something like, 'No shit, Sherlock.'"  
  
Faramir frowned at her.  
  
"It's slang.forget it. I'll explain it another time."  
  
"Okay."  
  
They were quiet for a few minutes. Then Faramir walked over to Allyn, said a few "romantic" things and began snogging her.  
  
Little did she know.Rachael and Blaire were spying. And trying their hardest not to crack up and give themselves away. They were having a lot of fun just giggling at their friend, until someone tapped their shoulders.  
  
They jumped. Mablung and Damrod were standing behind them, very disapproving looks on their faces. "And what are we up to?" Damrod said.  
  
"Oh shut up. You're not laughing yourself only because you answer to Faramir. So bite me, jerk," Blaire said.  
  
Damrod looked very confused.  
  
Blaire groaned exasperatedly and stalked off, Rachael trailing behind her. And an amused yet confused Damrod and Mablung followed them. They caught up just in time to hear Blaire say in a mock wail, "Our slang means nothing here!"  
  
"I know!" Rachael replied. "I think we should start making up things that make no sense, just because they still wouldn't know what we're saying."  
  
"Did you really want me to bite you?" Damrod asked as he and Mablung approached cautiously.  
  
Blaire glared at them, but Rachael was trying to control laughter. "No, it means something completely different back home. But you can if you really want to."  
  
"I probably taste bad, I really need a bath," Blaire stated.  
  
"Yeah you do," Rachael muttered.  
  
Blaire's jaw dropped and she smacked Rachael. "Ow!"  
  
"Why.did.but.I don't get it!" Mablung said.  
  
"What don't you get?" Blaire asked.  
  
"Why did you just hit her? It's only normal to do that when you're trying to do the other person harm."  
  
"Well, we don't do it because we actually mean harm. It's a way of expressing disapproval," Blaire informed him.  
  
Mablung still looked a little confused, but shrugged. "Oh well. There are worse things."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
Mablung looked at Damrod for help, who held up his hands and backed away. "You got yourself into this one, my friend."  
  
Blaire looked at Rachael. "I see you have been abusing the Rangers."  
  
Rachael nodded energetically. "I've come up with names for all of them, except these two."  
  
"Well we can call Damrod Dimrod because they sound so much alike. And it's funny."  
  
"Oh, duh. But what about Mablung? He still needs a nickname."  
  
Mablung and Damrod stared at the girls as they went through a list of names that didn't seem to fit them.but they didn't see it that way, of course.  
  
Finally Rachael yelled, "Kitty!"  
  
"Perfect!"  
  
"WHAT?" Mablung roared.  
  
"Yeah, like I like my name any better! Dimrod???" Damrod yelled.  
  
"Okay, well you see, Dimrod makes sense, because it's a combination of dimwit and nimrod. So you get Dimrod. And it sounds like your name. So there." Blaire stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
Rachael whispered something apparently very obscene in Blaire's ear because she smacked her very hard. Rachael whimpered.  
  
"I don't get all the abuse. And what's with my name? And what is a kitty anyway?" Mablung said.  
  
Rachael and Blaire stared at him. "You don't have cats in Middle Earth?" Blaire asked.  
  
"Well yeah, but where does Kitty come in?"  
  
"Well that's a name for a cat. And it's from Monster's Inc. too, very good movie."  
  
Mablung just stared at her.  
  
She shrugged and took Rachael's arm, heading back to the cave. She muttered something about it being beyond Mablung's comprehension, but he didn't catch all of it.  
  
Damrod and Mablung looked at each other for a moment, and then Damrod said, "We'll never live this down."  
  
Mablung shook his head. "No we won't."  
Ok this is quite annoying. First of all, when I try to put three periods together like a pause, it doesn't work so it only puts one. So that's why this might look like I've got horrible grammar, which I don't. I'm taking honors English, leave me alone! Second, fanfiction likes to put things together even though I leave thirty lines of space inbetween things, so that's quite annoying. And sometimes it just doesn't want to upload my chapters! *Hyperventilates* Okay, we're cool now. Keep reading! 


	12. Gasp! a new character

Disclaimer: don't own LotR.  
It seemed to Mablung (Kitty) and Damrod (Dimrod) that things couldn't have gotten much worse for them. It was bad enough when just Rachael had been there, but now there were two more who seemed just as annoying, and now they had nicknames. And they'd thought they'd escaped that!  
  
How wrong they were.  
  
That night, at dinner, the four of them sat around the fire, talking. Damrod and Mablung were getting made fun of, and since they didn't know most of the words (slang, as Blaire and Rachael called it), they couldn't make any intelligent response to their comments.  
  
Just then, a guard came in, dragging what seemed to be a boy about Allyn, Rachael, and Blaire's age behind him. The boy was putting up a good fight, and when the guard stopped he put the guard in a joint lock and yelled, "Stay away, or I'll put you all in joint locks!"  
  
Blaire and Rachael shouted, "Sean?"  
  
The boy stopped, then stared at them.  
  
"This just keeps getting better and better," Blaire said as she got up to go tell Sean to let the guard go.  
  
Sean let the guard go, of course, who crawled away and whimpered. Sean suffered hugs from both Blaire and Rachael (A/N: he's like an elf: not huggable).  
  
"Your girlfriend is here too," Rachael said after she'd hugged Sean.  
  
"What?" he asked in shock.  
  
"Allyn," Blaire informed him. Taking a look around, she continued, "Although it doesn't look like she's back yet. Last time we saw her she was snogging Faerie-meer."  
  
Sean rubbed his temples. "Why, of all people, did I have to get stuck here with you two?"  
  
Blaire smacked him. "Could have been worse. You could have gotten stuck here with Collin or something."  
  
Sean shuddered. "So where exactly are we?"  
  
Blaire gave him an exasperated look and said, "We're in Middle Earth, genius."  
  
"I know that, but what point are we at in the books?"  
  
"Oh.I wouldn't rely too much on the books. This is very different from the books, trust me," Rachael said, and Blaire nodded energetically to emphasize the point.  
  
"Oi," Sean muttered. "So what's different about this place?"  
  
Blaire pointed at Boromir, who happened to be walking by. He appeared to be looking for his brother, as he was calling out for Faramir every few seconds.  
  
"He's not back yet. He was putting the moves on Allyn last time I saw him," Blaire yelled to him.  
  
Boromir shook his head in severe annoyance and walked away, muttering something about how Faramir thought he was such a stud.  
  
"Okay.point taken. How did you guys get here anyway?" Sean asked.  
  
"I disappeared from the karate school about two weeks ago. Then Saruman found me and sent me off to Sauron, and then Sauron sent me off to find his Ring, that bastard, and then I got to Edoras and then I went to Helm's Deep.it's too long a story to tell. And not worth the effort."  
  
"I was at home, and then I ended up here, surrounded by Rangers. I've been here since," Rachael said. "How did you get here?"  
  
"I was at karate, and then the room started spinning, and then I was on the ground outside there." He pointed at the entrance to the cave.  
  
"So you only just got here? That's odd. I wonder if anyone else is here that we don't know about," Blaire mused.  
  
"Probably."  
  
Blaire went back to take her seat by the fire, followed by Rachael and Sean. Mablung and Damrod had watched the entire exchange with interest, but were a little worried, because now there was another one. Fortunately, they thought, he was male. They obviously didn't know Sean.  
  
Blaire and Rachael were busy explaining all the differences between the books and this Middle Earth, and Sean was actually sitting very quietly, listening for once.  
  
When they'd finished, Sean said, "Okay, this sounds like a lot more fun than the Middle Earth from the books. I want to meet Sauron! He sounds like a cool guy."  
  
Blaire glared at him and said, "He tried to use me."  
  
"That's the point."  
  
Blaire growled. Sean just laughed. Fortunately for Sean, the guards had heated up some water and it was Blaire's turn to take a bath, so there wasn't a chance that they could get into a fight. And the Rangers would definitely have sided with Blaire because she was female.  
  
When Blaire came back, Sean and Rachael were gone, and Mablung and Damrod were finally getting the peace and quiet that they deserved. "Where are those two?" Blaire asked as she sat down by the fire.  
  
"I don't know. They went outside a little while ago, said they were going to talk," Mablung said.  
  
"I don't think they were going to talk, though," Damrod said, amusement in his voice.  
  
Blaire stopped dead, frozen for a moment. Then she exploded. "That's great! All my friends are off snogging their boy toys and left me here with you two!"  
  
"You could snog us," Damrod suggested.  
  
Blaire looked disgusted and snapped, "I'm leaving."  
  
Mablung stared at his friend. "What did you say that for? I certainly don't want to snog her."  
  
"It was just a suggestion. Besides, I don't even know what snog means."  
  
"Then why would you say that?" Mablung yelled.  
  
Damrod shrugged. "I thought that maybe she'd be in a better mood and decide not to call us Dimrod and Kitty anymore."  
  
Mablung shook his head, exasperated. "You're going about it in the wrong way then."  
  
Damrod paused, then asked, "Do you know what it means?"  
  
"No clue." 


	13. Reading is a weapon

Disclaimer: Don't own Lord of the Rings.  
The next morning, a very grumpy Blaire awoke and got dressed. She got a cup of coffee (even though it wasn't all that great) and went outside to find Mablung and Damrod, even though she was a little worried about them trying to snog her.  
  
They were outside drilling with some of the other Rangers. They tried to avoid making eye contact with her, but when she finally waved them over, they had no choice but to acknowledge her.  
  
I don't think Damrod knew what snog meant when he said that last night, she thought to herself as they approached. Their behavior certainly indicated that. So she asked them.  
  
Mablung elbowed Damrod. He shook his head and blushed. "It was just a suggestion. I thought that maybe you wouldn't be so mad anymore if I suggested that."  
  
"But if you didn't know what it meant.then why would you say that? It could be something like, trying to kill each other or something," Blaire said.  
  
Damrod shrugged. "I didn't think so considering the context in which it was used."  
  
"Okay, I'll give you credit for that."  
  
"What is snog anyways?"  
  
Blaire had a thoughtful look on her face. I could seriously make Legolas jealous right now, couldn't I? And he's not so bad.not bad at all. "I will demonstrate later. Not now," she said.  
  
"Why later?" Damrod asked warily.  
  
Oh crap. "Um.I haven't had my coffee yet." That was so lame.  
  
Mablung and Damrod both shrugged. "Okay," Damrod said.  
  
Just then Allyn and Faramir walked around the corner. Blaire glared at her friend. "What's your problem?" Allyn asked.  
  
"Oh nothing. The fact that I was left all alone last night with these two is nothing to complain about. Nothing at all."  
  
Allyn made a face. "I'm sorry." Then she grinned.  
  
"No you're not, but," Blaire said as she got up and took her friend's arm, "I do want to hear your story."  
  
And off they went to take a walk and to hear Allyn's story about snogging.and other things.  
Rachael and Sean returned a little while after that, and after all had heard each other's stories, they decided that Allyn's was the funniest. Therefore she was going to get made fun of the most.  
  
At the moment, she was sitting in a corner of the cave, reading a book she'd finally gotten Faramir to lend her. She couldn't stand being around her friends right now. Just because she's spent the night with Faramir didn't mean they had to keep making fun of her about it! It wasn't like no one else was doing anything. Rachael and Sean were a prime example!  
  
She closed the book and sighed as her stomach growled. It was nearly time for dinner. Time to face her friends. She been hiding all day back there, trying to save herself the trouble.  
  
As she walked through the corridors to the mock kitchen, she passed Sean. He spotted her and grinned maliciously. He was just about to say something when Allyn gripped her book and swung it as hard as she could at his head. It made a satisfying thud, and Sean fell to the ground, unconscious.  
  
Allyn shook her head. "Guys are such wimps," she said happily, and continued on to dinner. She got her meal and joined Rachael, Blaire, Mablung, Damrod, Faramir, and Boromir at the fire. She hummed to herself and grinned.  
  
Blaire raised an eyebrow and asked, "What are you so happy about?"  
  
Rachael whispered something most likely obscene, and they both laughed. Allyn ignored them.  
  
Then they noticed that Sean hadn't come back. "Umm, where's Sean?" Rachael finally asked.  
  
Allyn shrugged.  
  
"What did you do to him?"  
  
Allyn grinned even wider.  
  
"Allyn! What did you do?"  
  
Allyn burst out laughing and said, "Books are very good weapons, you know?"  
  
Rachael moaned. "Oh no." 


	14. The Rock Fondler

Disclaimer: still don't own LotR  
When Sean was next seen he was crouching in a corner and fondling a rock he kept calling his precious. Blaire finally got fed up with his garbled muttering and threw the rock outside. Sean screamed and jumped over the ledge after it.  
  
Allyn smiled innocently when Blaire growled at her. "I think you hit him a little too hard there, dear," Blaire said grumpily.  
  
Allyn shrugged. "He deserved it."  
  
"He always deserves it, I agree. But.look at him! He's out there acting like Gollum!"  
  
Just then, Faramir and his patrols came into the cave with Frodo and Sam. Right behind them was the real Smeagol, squealing and shrieking.  
  
"Speak of the devil," Blaire muttered, and stalked off.  
  
Rachael and Allyn were left with Mablung and Damrod, who were watching the Faramir/Frodo exchange with great interest. Then Faramir ordered them to take Frodo and Sam to a back part of the cave and keep watch over them. That left Faramir with Gollum. Faramir looked at Rachael for help. "Any ideas?"  
  
"Send him outside with Sean. They'll get along great," Rachael replied.  
  
Faramir raised an eyebrow but released Gollum, who scampered out. Faramir joined Rachael and Allyn. "What was that all about, let him go?"  
  
"He won't hurt anyone. He's a schizophrenic idiot," replied Allyn.  
  
"I'd be fine with that if I knew what schizophrenic meant!" Faramir said hotly. "And what is Sean doing out there, a ritual dance?"  
  
"Allyn hit him over the head with your book. She didn't enjoy the comments about getting laid," Rachael informed him.  
  
Allyn smacked her.  
  
"Well it's true! I just hope you didn't get knocked up!"  
  
Allyn shuddered.  
  
"Yeah, exactly."  
  
Faramir cleared his throat.  
  
"Go away if you don't like it!" Rachael snapped.  
  
"Sure thing," he said and walked away.  
  
Allyn and Rachael glared at each other. "I hear you and Sean were out pretty late last night yourselves," Allyn said sarcastically.  
  
"That has nothing to do with this, so quit changing the subject!"  
  
"How is it any different?"  
  
"SHUT UP!" a voice shouted.  
  
Rachael and Allyn looked to where Damrod stood. "Where's your twin?" Allyn snarled.  
  
"Will you cut it out? What's the matter with you?" Damrod yelled. "You're fighting over nothing! You're here, pretty much alone because neither of you belong, and you're fighting! You don't have very many best friends, but the ones you find, you ought to keep. It's hard to make up. Believe me, I know," Damrod finished sadly.  
  
Allyn and Rachael were quiet for a moment, and then Rachael said softly, "You've been there, haven't you?"  
  
Damrod nodded. "I lost one of the best friends I ever had over a girl. We were young, naïve, big headed. And we were both after the same girl. After a while, things got so competitive between us that things just fell apart. We got in a fight; I left, became a Ranger. He was a soldier, and he died protecting Minas Tirith from the forces of Mordor."  
  
"But you've got Mablung. He's a good friend, isn't he?" Allyn asked.  
  
Damrod nodded. "I didn't meet him until I came here. This man was a lifelong friend. And our friendship ended.because of a girl. That's something you two should remember. Nothing but you two should get in the way of your friendship."  
  
Rachael got up and hugged him. He smiled, then turned away to get back to his post.  
  
"I guess he's right, isn't he?" Rachael said as she turned around. "Nothing should come between us."  
  
"Nothing," Allyn replied. "I'm sorry if I hurt you."  
  
"Same here." They hugged. "So I guess we can't call him Dimrod anymore, huh? He's not a dimwit or a nimrod."  
  
"Of course we can!" Allyn replied, looking scandalized.  
  
Rachael laughed, then asked, "So is Blaire really going to snog him?"  
  
"That's what she said," Allyn replied with a glint in her eyes.  
  
Sounds from outside floated in, and both Rachael and Allyn went to take a look. Sean was splashing in the pool, singing along with Gollum, and beating a captured fish on the rocks.  
  
"Oh no," Rachael moaned.  
  
"I hope he's not going to be like this for too long," Allyn commented.  
  
Rachael looked thoughtful. "We could always encourage him to get better," she said mischievously.  
  
"Rachael, are you.suggesting.oh dear," Allyn said.  
  
"Well something has to be done. I mean, look at him!" Rachael grabbed Allyn's book and led the way down the rocks to where Sean and Gollum were dancing around.  
  
"Hey Sean!" Rachael called.  
  
Sean stopped nancing and looked at the girls. "We don't know anyone named.Sean! Our name is.Smeagol! Yes, yes our name is Smeagol!"  
  
Rachael rolled her eyes and replied, "Whatever," just before she swung the book at his head. He slumped to the ground.  
  
The real Smeagol stopped what he was doing, looked at Sean, and froze. Then he stood up straight, walked over to Rachael and Allyn, and said in a deep, definitely human voice, "Thank you. He was getting quite obnoxious."  
  
Rachael and Allyn shrieked and ran back to the cave.  
So Damrod has a sensitive side! But I love the suspense, what's going to happen when Blaire teaches him to snog? Keep reviewing! 


	15. Problem solved Or so we think

Disclaimer: don't own LotR  
As promised, that night Blaire took Damrod outside and taught him what snogging was. She came back inside a little while later, looking very nonchalant, and sat down next to her friends.  
  
Rachael looked at her and asked, "So?'  
  
"I think he was a little surprised to find that there was tongue involved," Blaire replied.  
  
Rachael burst out laughing, but Allyn managed to keep a straight face. "But did he enjoy it?"  
  
Blaire thought for a moment, then said, "Yup, I think he did. I suggested cold water as a remedy to his.ahem."  
  
Allyn joined Rachael in laughter. They both started choking and that made Blaire laugh. Soon they were all rolling around on the ground, turning red, then a shade of purple from lack of oxygen. Then Sean appeared in the doorway. "What was I doing laying outside on the ground? I'm soaking wet!"  
  
Then he stopped short and said, "Wait.who are you people?"  
  
Rachael moaned (for the third time- I'm keeping count). "Oh no! Now what are we going to do?"  
  
Blaire looked up. "Why, what's wrong with him?" she asked.  
  
Rachael gave her an exasperated look. "He doesn't remember anything!"  
  
"At least he's not acting like Gollum anymore," Blaire replied, shrugging.  
  
"You could always hit him with the book again," Allyn suggested.  
  
"It didn't work last time!"  
  
"Who says it won't work this time?"  
  
"Me!" Rachael said and walked over to Sean. She hit him over the head with the book, and he fell to the ground. After a few seconds, he stood up, rubbing his head. Then, looking around, he asked, "Where is the precious?"  
  
Rachael pointed at him and said, "See- AH!"  
  
WHACK. "Who the hell are you?"  
  
WHACK. "My precious."  
  
WHACK. "Who the hell are you?"  
  
WHACK. "My precious."  
  
"AHH!" Rachael yelled and whacked him one more time. Sean hit the ground, clutching his head and moaning.  
  
"Maybe he needs a different kind of encouragement to remember," Blaire said slyly.  
  
Rachael glared at her.  
  
"Just a suggestion," Blaire replied cheerily, and ponced off to find Damrod.  
  
Rachael looked at Allyn, who was trying to stifle laughter. "Well, what do you think I should do?"  
  
Allyn put on a straight face and replied, "I don't know. You could always try it, and if he still doesn't remember, hit him with the book again."  
  
Rachael shrugged. "At this point, I'm willing to try anything. The old Sean was annoying, sure, but it was better than this!"  
  
With that, she went over to Sean, who was sitting up and rubbing his head, bent down, and kissed him. Sean looked startled, and Rachael raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
He peered at her a little closer, and then said, "Rachael?"  
  
Rachael shouted with joy and nanced around the fire a few times before noticing five pairs of eyes watching her.  
  
"I am going to kill you! You hit me with that book one more time and I swear." Sean said menacingly as he advanced on Rachael. Rachael backed up until she hit the wall and held up the book to protect her face. When Sean was about to grab her throat and strangle her, she whacked him with the book.  
  
Sean fell to the ground. Rachael looked giddy until Allyn pointed out that now Sean wasn't going to be Sean anymore.  
  
"But then.who's he going to be?" Rachael asked. She turned toward Sean.  
  
Sean was now sitting up and rocking back and forth, chanting, "Blood, blood, blood, blood, blood."  
  
"GODDAMNIT!"  
  
Allyn shook her head at Sean and said, "That is so not right."  
The next day, Blaire, Allyn, and Rachael decided to go wash their clothes.because they were getting really smelly. They were down at the stream and talking and laughing. Mostly they were talking about Damrod, Faramir, and Sean, respectively, but Blaire was now getting the most hassle from her friends. What they most wanted to know was if Damrod was a good kisser.  
  
"I am not telling you anything," Blaire said, laughing.  
  
"Why not? Everyone knows everything about me and Faramir!" Allyn said.  
  
"Hehe, oh yeah!" Rachael said.  
  
"Well what about you and Sean? You guys were out pretty late the other night. Did you even come back?"  
  
"Yes, of course we came back," Rachael said, looking around innocently and blushing like crazy.  
  
"Really now?" Allyn commented.  
  
"Yeah.but it doesn't really matter now because he doesn't remember any of it! And that's sad!"  
  
"What's sad?" a voice asked.  
  
The three of them looked up to find Hallie leaning against a tree. She waved at them and then gave them all hugs. "This is so great, there's a whole five of us here now," Blaire said.  
  
"Well.four," Rachael said.  
  
"Oh that's right."  
  
"What?" Hallie said.  
  
Blaire, Allyn, and Rachael all laughed. "We've all been here for at least two weeks, so there's a lot of stuff you don't know. Come on, we'll explain," Rachael said, as they led Hallie back to the cave.  
A/N: I stole the blood chanting thing from another fanfic *dodges throw tomatoes*. I hope that doesn't bother the author of that story, and if it does, I'll take it off, but it kinda became a joke between me and my friends, so *gets down on hands and knees and begs* please let me keep it there! 


	16. the plan

Disclaimer: don't own lotr! Don't own lotr! * Cat Woman/ Luthvara Halfelven: make up your mind! One name or the other, Ellaena! But thank you for your wonderful reviews. And I love Rimaraf and Nrogara as well. * Daughter of Night: *ducks and runs from rotten tomatoes being thrown at her* but I said somewhere that I wasn't gonna get into anything serious in this! Ah well. On with the story! * Lia Langard: read above. I don't like snog sessions. But lemme tell ya, it was some fun stuff! I mean, what? * Amy Cheng: I agree, Legolas is hot. But in my own twisted imagination, Damrod is so much better. And these characters are based off of real people. And these people don't have elf-fixations. More of scrubby stubbly human fixations.  
  
*******  
The first thing out of Boromir's mouth was, "Maybe she won't be as insane as the other three are."  
  
Hallie burst out laughing and said, "Haha, yeah right. If anything, I'm worse. Here, do you want me to prove it?" With that, she walked up to Boromir and kissed him on the lips. She grinned at him, and Blaire, Rachael, and Allyn laughed at him. They walked away.  
  
Boromir was still standing there. Faramir walked by him in the corridor, said a brotherly hello, and stopped short when his brother didn't return his greeting. He backed up and gave his brother a shove. Boromir still didn't respond. Faramir tried everything, from waving his hand in front of Boromir's face, to poking his brother, to grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him as hard as he could. He finally gave up and walked away.  
  
When Hallie and Blaire walked by him later, Boromir was still standing there, a look of stupidity on his face. Blaire burst out laughing, and Hallie sighed and kissed him again, hoping he'd come out of it. He did, looked at her, and took her outside where they began making out like mad.  
  
Blaire watched them disappear around the corner and saw Hallie give her a helpless look before running off. She sighed. "That's the third person who's done that to me. This is sad." So to solve her problem, she went off to find Damrod. Maybe he'd want to snog her again.  
Sean was spotted that night walking around and drawing spider webs on anything and everything. That included Blaire's shirt, a plate, Nightshade's back, Faramir's face, and numerous other things. Rachael had been getting complaints all day about how Sean was insane and they had to get him back to normal somehow. Rachael resolved to hit him over the head with the book again, which, fortunately only for some, solved the problem. He was normal Sean again.  
  
But he wasn't very happy. He kept threatening to put people in joint locks and break their faces. Rachael once again put a stop to it by saying that he wouldn't get to snog her anymore if he didn't cut it out. He immediately stopped.  
  
After about three hours, Hallie and Boromir returned, Hallie, like Blaire, looking nonchalant, but Boromir, a stunned look on his face. His only comment was that he liked girls from "the other world" better than Gondor women.  
  
Then Mablung made a comment that hushed everyone up. "You know, you all are going to have to go back sometime."  
  
There was a long pause. Then Blaire said, "Yeah but.we don't even know how we got here. How are we supposed to get back somewhere when we don't even know how we ended up here?"  
  
"I don't know.but you don't belong here. We need to figure out how to get you back, because otherwise." Damrod said.  
  
"Otherwise what?" Hallie asked.  
  
"You're going to end up dead! And what about the people who care about you who've been left back.wherever? I'm sure they're worried!" Mablung replied.  
  
"What if time hasn't gone on though? It'd be like one of those sci-fi movies where someone leaves and time is suspended where it was, and he gets back and time starts again." Blaire stopped when she noticed the looks she was getting from her friends. "Or not."  
  
"Well then how are we supposed to get back? Do we just wait for the room to start spinning again? That might never happen!" Rachael said.  
  
Allyn was looking thoughtful. "You know who would know something like this?"  
  
"Your dad?" Hallie suggested.  
  
"Besides my dad," Allyn replied.  
  
Blaire thought for a moment, and then an idea dawned on her. She grinned at Allyn and then grabbed Allyn's book and turned toward Sean. "Tersa would know."  
  
Rachael started laughing.  
  
"NO! I am NOT going to get hit in the head with that book again. Did you see the size of the bump I have?" Sean yelled as he backed away from Blaire.  
  
"Well, Tersa would know. and don't you want to get back? Is it worth it?" Rachael asked.  
  
"Absolutely not! I like it here! I like teaching Faramir the finer points of Sindarin!"  
  
Rachael shook her head, and Blaire finally backed off. "Well then how are we supposed to get back?"  
  
Everyone once again fell silent. "We don't have a whole lot of time here," Mablung said. "We got a summons to Osgiliath to help them fend off Sauron's forces."  
  
"I'm thinking here!" Hallie yelled at him.  
  
"Well think faster!"  
  
The cave was silent for a long time after that. No one seemed to know what to do, and after a while, the Rangers drifted off. After a while, Blaire, Hallie, Damrod, Boromir, and Mablung were the only ones sitting by the fire. They sat talking quietly for hours after that.  
  
"I miss my home. I miss karate, my family, my friends.hell I even miss school by now," Blaire said.  
  
"I don't miss my family so much, but I do miss my friends and Jason, and I kinda miss school too," Hallie replied.  
  
"You don't get along with your family?" Damrod asked.  
  
"I get along with my dad, but I don't like my mom at all."  
  
"Same here," Blaire said.  
  
"I miss Minas Tirith," Boromir said. "I haven't seen the city in nearly a year.and that's the only home I've ever known. And it might not even exist anymore, for all I know. When I left, Sauron's forces were too close for comfort, and I fear that the city may be in ruins by now."  
  
An idea dawned on Blaire. "Maybe.maybe we're supposed to help out."  
  
"What?" Damrod asked in surprise.  
  
"Maybe we're supposed to be fighting along with the people that stand against Mordor. I mean, we know a lot about Middle Earth. Hell, anyone would, even if they'd only seen the movies once. So maybe we're supposed to help out. Allyn and Rachael would sure be good for that."  
  
"This isn't making any sense! What are you saying, that we have a purpose here? That we're supposed to be doing something and that when we've completed it, we get to go back?"  
  
Blaire nodded vehemently. "I think that we all have something that can help in the war. And we need to use it before we can leave. But.why us? And what are we supposed to be doing here?"  
  
Hallie looked thoughtful. "Well.like you said, Rachael and Allyn know everything about the books, from cover to cover. So they can tell the armies what they're supposed to be doing.what they need to do to win. You and Sean are warriors, in a sense. You're both black belts. And me.what the fuck am I doing here?"  
  
Blaire shrugged but didn't respond. No one else moved. Finally, Boromir said, "Maybe you're just a wild card. That you're just thrown in to do whatever you can, fight or lead."  
  
That seemed to fit. So Blaire went off to get Faramir, Allyn, Sean, and Rachael back to discuss their idea. The only problem was.where were they? Or more, what were they doing.  
  
Fortunately for Blaire, none of them were doing anything more than snogging. So she dragged them all back to the cave, grumbling as they were, and sat them down.  
  
"We have an idea." Hallie got up to stand next to Blaire. "We think we know how to get back."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Blaire nodded. "We all have some reason that we're here, that there's something about each of us that drew us here, and we have to put it to use before we can go back."  
  
"Well.what something would this be? And what are we using it for?" Sean asked.  
  
"Well for you, it would be your fighting skills," Hallie said. "You and Blaire are black belts, so you'd fight really well along with the armies who stand against Mordor."  
  
"Rachael and Allyn, your knowledge of the books could easily be put to use. Maybe you know of some disaster that can be averted, or something like that. I certainly don't know of anything. I haven't finished the books yet." Blaire shrugged. "That's just an idea.but it seems to fit."  
  
Rachael and Allyn looked at each other. "The only disaster I can think of has already happened: Isildur's taking of the Ring. Of course, if he hadn't done that, none of you would be here right now.so neither would we," Allyn said.  
  
Blaire looked disappointed. "Well then.what are we doing here?"  
  
"Wait!" Rachael said as she jumped up. "Frodo has the Ring! We could take it and Blaire could go back into Mordor and throw it back in! We know that Frodo himself is having problems taking it into Mordor.so then we can do it for him! And it won't look suspicious because Blaire's already supposed to be bringing it back to Sauron!" Rachael said excitedly. "It works!"  
  
"Well yeah.except Frodo's never gonna let us have the Ring," Sean said pointedly. "And even if he did, Sam wouldn't let us get two feet away from him."  
  
Blaire shrugged. "So we take them with."  
  
Allyn shook her head. "Not only will that look suspicious to Sauron, but that would take too long. We have to find a way to take the Ring from Frodo and get it to Mordor."  
  
"But.how do we get it back?" Rachael asked.  
  
Hallie rubbed her hands together. "I think that's my job. I'll be back in fifteen minutes." That said, she walked through the tunnels to where Frodo and Sam were being kept.  
  
And, true to her word, she came back fifteen minutes later. "Did you get it?" Rachael asked.  
  
Hallie dug through her pockets for a few seconds (long enough to make Damrod, Faramir, Boromir, and Mablung sweat), and then she pulled it out triumphantly.  
  
"What did you do?" Allyn asked.  
  
Hallie looked around innocently and replied, "I dazzled him with my.wits!"  
  
Rachael, Blaire, Allyn, and Sean burst out laughing.  
  
"But we gotta get going soon," Hallie warned. "By tomorrow morning at the latest, because otherwise he's going to wonder if I'm giving it back."  
  
"You told him you were giving it back?" Blaire asked incredulously.  
  
Hallie nodded. "That's what I told Jason," she said and pulled Jason's class ring out of her pocket.  
  
"This is not good," Allyn muttered. 


	17. blood bath

Disclaimer: don't own lotr!  
  
*  
  
The newly formed Fellowship of the Ring spent a good part of that night packing for their journey. Since they were planning on a short trip, they each only had two saddlebags to pack, meaning that they had to finish the job quickly. They all each got a horse, and as soon as they were ready to go, they set off.  
  
"This is so ironic," Blaire said as she rode next to Allyn. "Nine in the Fellowship, one that's already been in a Fellowship, and our goal is the same: get this bad boy to Mordor."  
  
Allyn thought for a moment, then cracked up. Blaire gave her an odd look and asked, "What is your problem?"  
  
"If this is the new Fellowship," Allyn choked out, "then that means you're Frodo!"  
  
"OH GOD NO!" she yelled, and everyone turned around to look at them. She waved them on, then glared at Allyn, who was laughing even harder now. "Well if I'm Frodo, then that must mean you're Sam."  
  
Allyn immediately stopped laughing. "Not cool!" she said.  
  
They spent the rest of the day deciding who corresponded with the previous Fellowship members. Mablung and Damrod were Merry and Pippin. Sean was Aragorn, because not only did he have superior knowledge about Middle Earth, but he was also a very good fighter. Boromir was Boromir, and lived up to his name by asking to see the Ring every five minutes. Blaire got fed up very quickly and shoved him off his horse. He was then comforted by Hallie.  
  
Hallie was Gandalf for some unknown reason, partially because she kept whacking Sean with a stick, but mostly because she was unlike any other member of the original Fellowship. Rachael was Legolas because she had the lightest hair and because she thought he was so hot. And finally, Faramir was Gimli because he was the last character to be chosen.  
  
On the first day, they made very decent progress, getting pretty close to Mordor. The second day was a different story. Everyone was tired from having been up late the night before with their significant other. So they went nice and slow, and only made about twenty miles, compared with the previous day's thirty five.  
  
They made camp extra early and everyone went to bed extra early too. They wanted to make it to Mordor by the seventh day, and if they continued having days like that day, they'd never get there. So they sat together and ate dinner and then went straight to bed, falling immediately into a deep slumber.  
  
Not for long, however.  
  
Blaire awoke the entire Fellowship with a shriek in the middle of the night. A man dressed in all white was stalking around camp, and the blinding white light emanating from him, along with her screams, awoke the rest of the group.  
  
"It's Saruman!" Faramir yelled, and grabbed his sword and went after him.  
  
"No!" Rachael yelled, and went after him. "It's Gandalf!"  
  
And it was Gandalf. Once he turned off his big huge blinding white light, everyone could clearly see that it was indeed Gandalf, and they were immensely relieved. Along with Gandalf were the real Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas. And by the looks of it, Aragorn and Legolas' relationship had broken off.  
  
Blaire seemed to be the only one who wasn't happy to see them. "We'll never get to Mordor by the end of the week, at this rate," she muttered, and ignoring everyone else, hit the sack.  
  
Pretty soon after that, the rest of the group followed suit and went to sleep. When they awoke in the morning, they made coffee and eggs and toast (the toast was Blaire's idea) and sat and talked for a few hours.  
  
"Well, we're headed off to Mordor," Sean said after Gandalf had told the tale about the fall of Saruman. "We've got the Ring, and we'll hopefully make it to the Cracks of Doom before Sauron catches on."  
  
Aragorn leaned over to Gimli and whispered, "Who is this guy?"  
  
Boromir, who'd overheard, whispered back, "He's Aragorn," and laughed at the confused look on Aragorn's face.  
  
Aragorn stood up and shouted, "But I'm supposed to be King!" He walked over to Sean and got up in his face, saying, "You wanna start somethin'?"  
  
Sean stood up himself and replied, "Yeah, I think I do, you halfwit."  
  
Off in the distance, a bell rang, and Aragorn threw the first punch. Sean easily blocked and gave Aragorn a good hit to the stomach. The "oof" that came out of Aragorn's mouth made everyone smile, and Sean circled around again.  
  
Aragorn came back again, but made sure to protect his stomach this time. Sean dodged and gave him a knife hand to the bridge of his nose. Blood gushed. Aragorn whimpered, but tried to be manly and went at Sean again. This time Sean took him down, and the thump that Aragorn made on the ground was immensely satisfying, especially to Allyn.  
  
It took Aragorn a few minutes to regain the breath that had been knocked out of him. During that time, Sean had yelled, "I am King!" and collected handshakes from the men and kisses from the women. Like his ego needed that.  
  
Once everyone had settled down and Sean had gotten his crown of branches from Rachael and Hallie, Gandalf cleared his throat. "So what are you-"  
  
"Can I have your staff?" Hallie interrupted.  
  
Gandalf looked at her blankly and said, "No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because it's mine."  
  
"Well I'm gonna take it anyway." Hallie snatched the staff out of Gandalf's hand and ran off screaming, "I wield the flame of Arnor! My name is Gandalf the Very Bright White!"  
  
Gandalf took off after her. They could be seen going back and forth through the woods, and after a while, everyone returned to their conversations.  
  
"So Hallie got the Ring from Frodo, no idea how, and now I'm going to pretend to give it back to Sauron but really throw it into Mount Doom. As if I would actually give it to him," Blaire said.  
  
A shout filtered through the trees. "Give me back my staff, you pathetic excuse for a human being!"  
  
The running feet stopped. "OH, you did not just say I was pathetic. That's it, old man, you're going down!"  
  
"Anyways-" Faramir broke in.  
  
"So yeah, we're on our way to Mordor right now. Where are you guys going?" Rachael asked.  
  
Legolas shrugged. "I have absolutely no idea. I'm just following White Beard over there.who seems to be getting his ass kicked by your friend," he said, and pointed at Hallie, who was delivering punch after punch to Gandalf's face.  
  
"Should I go break it up?" Blaire asked.  
  
Everyone looked at one another. "Nahhhhh."  
*******  
  
well I suppose I'd better finish up this story soon! I just realized that I've got badminton practices after school every day, meaning I won't have as much time to write and post and this is going to be horrible! So, in case I don't update as often over the next two months, you know why. But I'm not gone forever! I'll be back, if the internet quits being stupid and whenever my season is over. Later! 


	18. the ring returns

Disclaimer: aww forget it, you know.  
  
* *  
  
After the bloodshed had stopped, the two groups went their separate ways. Sean was muttering about Aragorn's incompetence. "Not only does he fight like a wuss, but I corrected him about six times on his Sindarin!"  
  
"Wow, he must really suck then because I recall correcting you on your Sindarin, Sean," Allyn said.  
  
Sean glared at her.  
  
The next three days were pretty uneventful. On the sixth day, they determined that they would reach Barad-dur by midday the next day, so they decided to come up with a plan for the destruction of the Ring.  
  
"Well, I can go in by myself. I've been there before, and he thinks that I'm bringing it to him, not to destroy it," Blaire said.  
  
Faramir was shaking his head. "He's going to know that you had eight other people with you. We need to find something for us to be doing."  
  
Mablung nodded. "Maybe we could go in as mock prisoners. You could fake it long enough for Sauron to think that you're not a threat, and if he trusts you then everyone else there will trust you. Then you can toss the Ring and come get us."  
  
Damrod nodded. "That sounds fair enough, but what if he wants to torture us? Or even kill us?"  
  
"I'll set the limits as to what he can do. He's never going to touch the Ring, because I'm making him promise me all these things before I give him his Ring back." Blaire tapped her pocket. "I don't trust that bastard with the Ring for two seconds. As soon as he has it, he'll kill all of us because he has no use for us anymore."  
  
Allyn shuddered, and Faramir put a protective arm around her.  
  
"Is this all going to work? I mean, I don't want to put one foot into Mordor unless I know I'm going to get out alive," Rachael said quietly.  
  
"It'll work," Blaire assured her. But in reality, even she wasn't sure it would work. She dearly hoped it would, for all her friends.  
Sauron tapped his foot impatiently as he looked through his palantir at the group making its way toward Barad-dur. He wanted his Ring back! After that, nothing would matter.  
  
Blaire was a different story. He was going to reward her greatly after his Ring was back on his finger. He'd give her whatever she wanted!  
  
He was still debating on whether or not to tell her about his feelings. She might figure it out on her own- and if she didn't he would tell her. She was better than any other woman he'd met anywhere in Middle Earth. She was getting him his Ring!  
  
He growled. What was taking them so long? He wanted his Ring! And who were all those people with her? They certainly weren't allies of Mordor! Boromir and Faramir were the sons of Denethor, and he was the Steward of Gondor. The two scruffy looking characters appeared to be Rangers, definitely not on the Dark Lord's side. And the other four- who were they?  
  
The group approached the Dark Gate. He'd sent the order to let them in, and watched closely as the gate slowly swung open, then shut as the group filed in. His Ring was back!  
  
He patiently waited for the next hour for his Ring to arrive at his fortress. When there was finally a tap at his door, he controlled himself and said, "Come in."  
  
Blaire opened the door and slipped in, shutting it behind her. "Sauron," she said triumphantly. "I have your Ring."  
  
"Good! Let's see it then!" he said, trying with all his might to remain calm.  
  
"Not just yet," she said slyly. "I have a few favors to ask of you before I place the Ring in your hands."  
  
'What's she playing at? Just give me the damn Ring!' he thought. "All right, what are they?" he said slowly.  
  
Blaire smiled at him. "First, that my prisoners of war are treated with respect until I have dealt with them."  
  
"Ah, so that's who was with you. But how did you get all eight of them here without a fight?"  
  
"With the One Ring in my pocket, it wasn't difficult."  
  
He laughed. "I believe that. What's your second requirement?"  
  
"That I can stay or go as I please, and that I can kill that bastard Son of Arathorn, and rule Gondor from Minas Tirith myself."  
  
Sauron hesitated, and Blaire raised an eyebrow. 'Anything for my Ring,' he kept repeating to himself, and nodded. "That will have to be worked out, but I think it could happen."  
  
"Third, that you admit to me two things: what your intentions are to do with your Ring, and what your intentions are with regards to me."  
  
'She found out,' Sauron thought in surprise. Perhaps women weren't as dense as he'd previously thought. The blondes at least. "My intentions with the Ring should be obvious. I plan on ruling Middle Earth, as is what's due to me."  
  
Blaire's face had no expression on it. She motioned for him to continue.  
  
"My intentions-my intentions concerning you.I hadn't planned on this coming up. But it seems that you have learned that I fancy you quite a bit- but my intentions-" He paused.  
  
"Do you plan on making this a serious relationship or a one week fling?" Blaire asked.  
  
"I'd like it to be serious."  
  
Blaire nodded. "Then you won't mind if I teach you what snogging is," she said quietly. 


	19. victory!

Disclaimer: still don't own LotR  
  
*  
  
Ew, Blaire thought to herself the next morning. Ew ew ew ew ew. I slept with the Dark Lord. Ew ew ew ew ew. EW!  
  
She stood in the bathroom brushing her hair. Luckily, she'd showered. Otherwise, she'd be completely disgusted the entire day. Sauron wasn't up yet, so Blaire took advantage of that and slipped out of his private study and went down the three thousand, four hundred eighty nine stairs she'd counted last night and found the kitchen. The orc cook looked at her a little funny, but she glared at him and grabbed an apple, which seemed to be the only edible thing in the entire kitchen. She then went to the Hall, where the orc captains and the Nazgul ate their meals with the Dark Lord.  
  
She took the seat available next to the Witch King. "Good morning," she said pleasantly.  
  
He snickered. "Good morning," he said, trying not to laugh. The rest of the Ringwraiths snorted into their meals.  
  
Blaire narrowed her eyes. "What's your problem?"  
  
"Oh nothing," Ringwraith Number Two said. (A/N: what you can't see in the movie is the large yellow numbers painted on their cloaks. And also, they're not old. They're young.and pretty damn hot. And their voices aren't scary like in the movie).  
  
"What?" Blaire said indignantly.  
  
"Our meeting with Sauron got canceled last night," Ringwraith Number Seven replied with a grin.  
  
"And?"  
"Our meetings only get canceled if Sauron has more important business. And the only more important business he's got than us is women," the Witch King informed her.  
  
"Glad to see that I'm a priority," Blaire replied cheerily.  
  
Ringwraith Number Nine was shaking his head. "That's what the last girl said. She only lasted a week."  
  
"I'm only gonna last a night," Blaire muttered, softly enough so that the Nazgul didn't hear her.  
When Sauron got downstairs that morning, Blaire was already done with breakfast and was outside dueling with the Ringwraiths. She was doubled over laughing at the Witch King's mock death at her hands.  
  
"Having fun?" Sauron asked menacingly. No one intruded on his territory, and that included the Nazgul.  
  
They immediately stopped laughing and stiffened up under the Dark Lord's intense glare.  
  
Blaire waved her hand impatiently. "Oh come on, we were just having fun. No need to worry," she said. "I don't want any of them."  
  
Sauron raised an eyebrow.  
  
Blaire walked over to him and kissed his cheek. "Come on, let's go for a walk. You can give me the grand tour of Mordor." She turned him around and off they went. She peeked over her shoulder and mouthed at the Ringwraiths, Don't worry! She liked them. They were fun.  
The grand tour of Mordor ended with the finale of Mount Doom. Sauron was a little apprehensive (and with good reason) of showing her his mountain, but she threatened that he wouldn't get any that night if he didn't show her.  
  
He readily agreed.  
  
They were standing on the ledge overlooking the swirls of molten rock and lava of Mount Doom. "So," Sauron said, pulling Blaire into his arms and looking her in the eye. "What's your deal with my Ring?"  
  
"I wanted you to prove to me that I'm more important than that silly Ring," she replied.  
  
"Ahh, I see," he said. No, he didn't, but he was a damn good liar.  
  
"But I have to admit, you aren't doing a very good job of it, because I know that you got up last night and went rooting through my clothes for the Ring."  
  
He kissed her and replied, "Oh, I'm sorry dear."  
  
"Are you really?"  
  
"Mmmhmm," he replied and kissed her again.  
  
"Well, I have to tell you that I haven't been completely honest with you either."  
  
Sauron drew back a little bit. Considering the subject, he was a little worried. "You haven't."  
  
Blaire shook her head, then backed out of his arms and reached into the pocket of her favorite pair of jeans. Out came the Ring. It took all of Sauron's might not to reach out and grab it.  
  
Blaire was looking at it thoughtfully. "All this trouble for a little gold ring?"  
  
"It's not so little," Sauron replied, now getting pretty panicky.  
  
"I mean, what could be so important?"  
  
Sauron was getting really close to strangling her and running off with the Ring, his one true love.  
  
"So let's test your dedication." With that, she hauled back and threw the Ring as hard as she could into the fire.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY RING!" Sauron screamed. He reached out to grab Blaire and slit her traitorous throat, but just then the Ring touched the boiling lava below, and he seized, a blinding light rushing into him, then exploding. A great wind blew out, and Blaire was knocked off her feet and nearly fell into the Cracks of Doom herself. Once the wind had subsided, Blaire picked herself up and dusted off her clothes. "Well, that's what you get when you trust an American with the Ring you've bound your life force to," she said sardonically.  
  
And she walked out of Mount Doom. Orcs rushed her, but the explosions of power that kept radiating out of Mount Doom took them all down. Blaire seemed immune, along with the Nazgul, who, instead of attacking her, protected her from the orcs.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" she asked the Witch King.  
  
He shrugged and took down an orc. "Because Sauron was the biggest bastard who ever lived. Because I had no faith in him anymore. And because he wasn't right. Do you have any idea how long I'd waited for someone to be brave enough to do that?"  
  
Blaire was shocked. The shock wore off after a few minutes, and finally they got to the fortress to release her friends. They, along with the Nazgul, mounted horses and headed off to Minas Tirith to spread the good news. 


	20. the end

Disclaimer: it's the last chapter and I still don't own LotR!  
When the group arrived in Gondor's capital, the sun was just setting, but there were parties being thrown in the streets. News had traveled fast, and everyone knew of Mordor's defeat. They were taken to where Aragorn, Legolas, Gandalf, and Gimli were staying, and joined in on the party that had erupted there.  
  
Frodo had tracked Hallie down and demanded to know where his Ring was. When Blaire told him that she'd tossed it into the Cracks of Doom, he passed out and Sam started attacking them. It took the strength of both Boromir and Aragorn to pull him off. Blaire and Hallie backed away and went to find somewhere safe to hide until Sam calmed down. The Ring was gone, but its effects would live on for a very long time after.  
  
After a few hours of dancing their hearts out, the exhausted group sat down around the fire and talked. No one mentioned Mordor's defeat, as Blaire seemed a little distressed over it, so they laughed and told jokes and had fun.  
  
Blaire was content to just lay in Damrod's arms and listen. She was completely worn out, and was nearly asleep when she started to feel a bit odd.  
  
She sat up and looked around for Allyn or Rachael. She was both happy and worried to see similar expressions on their faces. "I think it's happening," she said softly.  
  
"What's happening?" Damrod asked as he sat up.  
  
"I-I think we're going back!" That was all Blaire managed to say. Everything started spinning and going black, just like it had when she'd disappeared from the karate school. When things finally straightened out again, she was standing in the high school parking lot. So it's over, she thought sadly. I didn't even get to say goodbye.  
  
She turned around and saw that Rachael, Sean, Allyn, and Hallie were appearing also. Allyn landed smack on her butt, and Blaire, while laughing, helped her up.  
  
Rachael looked around. "So I guess that's it, huh?"  
  
Blaire nodded. "I was right though, wasn't I? We did what we were supposed to do." She paused, then said, "Let's get out of here before someone wonders what we're doing here."  
  
They began walking away, but stopped dead in their tracks when they heard seven consecutive thumps behind them.  
  
They all pivoted very, very slowly around. Standing together were Aragorn, Legolas, Boromir, Faramir, Damrod, Mablung, and the Witch King of Angmar.  
  
"This is not good," Blaire said, and covered her face with her hands 


	21. a note from your dear author

So that was the last chapter? What did y'all think? I'm in the process of writing the sequel, but I'll get posting as soon as I can. I'm taking any suggestions for what to put in the sequel, as well as anything that could be improved. I have a feeling the biggest complaint is going to be the length of the chapters, so I can fix that. Anyways, I better get back to writing. Look for the sequel! ***** ~KaratePunk~ ***** P.S. I don't have a name for the new one yet- when I figure that out, I'll get it posted. 


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